It's not something I've ever made a big deal of, or even talked about generally, but I suffer from anxiety issues and have for many many years. Recently I actually got off my arse and went and talked to my doctor about it. And it's been the best thing I could have done.
Not only has gentle medication helped to level out some nasty hormones and keep my serotonin levels even, but I've had help with other problems too, and proper treatment for things I'd been avoiding because I didn't want to know what was causing them. I'm still having treatment, but the best thing was having my neurotic, depressed, agoraphobic, irrational feelings recognised by a medical professional.
The very nice Dr Jones has been very helpful and understanding. Instead of looking at me down his nose and dismissing me as a hypochondriac little woman he listened to what I had to say, broke down my symptoms into actual illnesses both mental and physical, and got me the help I needed for them all. Now my iron levels are stable again after a long time and a huge drop that should have seen me rushed to hospital if Dr had had his way, my anxiety is managed, and my gynecological problems are at least under control for now, if not yet fixed.
You may wonder why I'm sharing all this on a blog about my dolls.
It's because of the unceasing support I find from my art and the people I've met through it. My husband, friends and family are very understanding for the most part, and forgive or ignore my strange moods at times as I still have days or weeks when all my fears come flooding back. But the kindness and support of people I've never even met personally always takes me by surprise.
Through my art work I've met wonderful people over the internet that I can chat too daily and always have a kind word. And I want to thank those lovely people, my dolly friends, both on Twitter and Facebook as they really don't know how much they do for me.
So thank you. Thank you to my wonderful husband for putting up with my strangeness, thank you to my friends and family for showing me love and kindness no matter what, and thank you to my dolly friends for all your daily kindnesses. I couldn't be me without you :-)
Without my art work I'm not a whole person. There's something inside of me that just has to make things, that has to stretch my imagination and bring to life what I see in my mind. Without art to go back to I find the daily grind of life unbearable and unmanageable. And without the support of all the lovely, wonderful people in my life I wouldn't have any of the confidence they've given me to do it.
I'd love to give all these special people I big giant hug :-)
If you know anyone that sufferers with anxiety or depression please try to understand them and help stop these hidden problems in society. We're all normal people, but some of us may deal with things differently. It's not something we can snap out of, and we don't need to pull ourselves together. We just need a kind word, a smile, a phone call just to say hi, or just the freedom to be ourselves.
Ps - Lots of dolls coming soon I promise. For now here's a pic of my latest, Christina Rossettil